How did the security guard at the orchid get better at his job? He got an Apple Watch.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
U better get used to having dry ceral cuz ur dad aint never bringing the milk back.
Roses are red, I reload fast... imma pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
The streets go blank in the dead of the day not a car to be seen A kingdom of corona-cation and it looks like moms the queen The wind is howling with this virus in the air Couldn't keep it in china everyone knows it's everywhere Don't let friends in don't be afraid Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal don't feel your insanity That the virus caused!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors! I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friends house Sickness doesn't get to me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane And the fears that once controlled me are here and present oh well! It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through! No right no wrong but stay inside! WERE NOT FREEEE!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! Cause I have nothing better to do The virus flurries through the air into my house! The storm is spiraling fear and fractals all around!! And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!! What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past???? DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT CAUSE THATS WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
I did a walk today but it was so much better and a walk home 🏠I had dinner 🍴 night was good fun at home 🏡 night was good night night I was a little off but you were so fun to be a night
kid just becomes an orphan, well i guess its better than being a hobo.
i heard there is a zozo hobo who eats all your pringles
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Here's a better version of a previous joke:
I would tell you a milk joke, but its whey too cheesy!
Why is Sunday better than Monday?
Because Monday is a weak day.
adding a 'gl' in front of camping doesn't make it any better. if you add a 'gl' infront of adolf hitler it doesn't make him a great guy
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said You better comeback with a goddamn sandwich
What is better for bus drivers? A. Magic school bus 🚌
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
I am like currency, people always trade me out for someone better
DR. what is wrong with me? You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
Mustarbation it's better than rough sex.
I’ll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I’m a baker’s man. and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can I’ll pat you, and prick you , and mark you with my "D" And then throw you in the fire cos you’re now worthless to me!
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man. and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can I'll pat you, and prick you , and mark you with my "D" And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!
