Bar Jokes

A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.

A gay man offers him a drink.

The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.

"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."

The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.

Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.

They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"

He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."

So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

Three guys walk into a bar; the fourth one ducks.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?

A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."

A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

Two baby seals walk into a club.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"

Applesauce.

A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.

The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"

A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"

A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.

What do a girl and a bar have in common?

A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!

What did the blind man fight in the bar?

The coat rack.