"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
Your mama's so fat that she can’t even talk, even if Kevin says, "Oh my gosh!" 'cause she has a big ass mouth.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
Big, ugly, and very weird.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person.
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945.
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
Beautiful people should read this quote: "God gave you beauty but not brains."
Your hairline is pushed back farther than G.T.A. 6.
What is white and 9 inches?
Nothing.
If God didn’t mean for us to have sex with 11-year-old girls, why did he make them so sexy and so much physically weaker?
The highest praise my wife gave to me was when she told me, "The best feminine attribute on your body as a woman would be your p🍆nis." 🥰
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.
