Ashtray jokes
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
Hank, skamwkakkshsygauytqg.
you.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?
In the ashtray.
Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.
I hate these double standards.
If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".
Cremation,
The last chance for a smoking hot body.
I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."
But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So, they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium and you’re being a respectful friend.
But do it at home and you’re destroying evidence.
Community talk
Little Sara, you're a diamond in the rough And I know that you don't hear this all enough And I'm sure that's why your wrists have tons of cuts And I'm sure that's why you think you're not enough On your nineteenth birthday you thought that you were done Tons of people in your home, but it only felt like one 'Cause your brain can only think about the waiting loaded gun But your friends are all still here, so pretend … Read more