Ashtray jokes

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?

Simple. All in the ashtray.

What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!

Hank, skamwkakkshsygauytqg.

you.

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

How many people can you fit in a car?

6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.

How do you fit 100 rape victims inside a Mini Cooper?

In the ashtray.

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

Cremation,

The last chance for a smoking hot body.

I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.

A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."

I saw a sign the other day that said "Maximum penalty for smoking is £1,000."

But that's not right. Surely the maximum penalty for smoking is Death.