And jokes
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels?
Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.
What is the difference between a microwave and a gay guy?
A microwave doesn’t brown your meat.
What's the difference between child abuse and abandonment?
The abused ones are forced to listen while being abused, while abandoned kids cry because they don't have parents anymore.
A white woman was caught on video using racial slurs and assaulting two black students. She was charged with "interpreting" a black police officer.
How did the black woman name her 4 babies?
Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone.
How did she differentiate them?
She called them by their last names.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
Guys, I promise I’m not suicidal, I just like dark things.
*proceeds to walk around the house with headphones in and stare at the ceiling while laying down on the couch*
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.
But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .