And jokes

Son: Daddy?

Dad: Why tf do you keep calling me daddy? You're 11 years old, feminine gay hoe.

Son: Whoa!? Daddy, what's that?

Dad: Wtf are you talking about?

Son: Your dick has gotten more tastier?

Son: Ooh... I..... Just.... Wanna.... Sssuuc

Dad: Oh nope, I'm not having a gay hoe's fiend in my house, no quit looking at my dick, you need some pussy.

Son: eeeeeewwwwwwwwwww nooooo plz no plz

Dad: Shut the fuck up: ehr em

Mom: What the fugde is going on?

Dad: Our son's a gay bitch.

Mom: Language! So? I need to teach him how to like a girl huh?

Dad: Yes Ma'am, plz.

Mom: Okay. Herman, get your gay ass in my bed but naked, I'll be there in 10.

Son: wha whey huh ur gonna... wtf?!?!?!??

Mom: Quit cursing, I'm gonna fuck u extra hard!!

Son: Ewww, I'm gonna fuck my mom even though she is hot sexy but eeewwww.

Mom: Shut it!!!, or I'm gonna recordid and *fliped her hair taking off her panies (pussy naked)* and show this to ur gay fuck friends!

Son: Huh

Son: Mom FUCK U*

Mom: Okay baby I'm gonna fuck u in a minute lemme tak my bra off

Son: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH

Son: Moms are the worst, are they?

Me no there not sometimes but i love them teheheteheh

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?

Uranus!

(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

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  • What's yellow and can't swim but screams when it goes under?

    A school bus full of kids.

    There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

    Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

    (Answer)

    There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

    If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

    You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

  • 4
  • So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

    Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

    Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

    Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

    Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

    Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

    Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

    NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

    Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

    Friends: comments give reason.

    Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

    Day later:

    Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

    Me: Shows her the video.

    Mom: calls suicide.

    JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

    What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

    The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

    What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?

    The picture only takes one nail to hang.

    Q: How do you catch a squirrel?

    A: Act like a nut.

    (Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)

    A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"

    She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.

    The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."

  • 0
  • What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?

    Both their parents were separated.

    A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"

    Little Johnny's father says if them boys say another bad word, I'm going to whoop them, and Little Johnny's brother says, "I'd like some fucking food," and he whooped him, and Little Johnny says, "He would. I'd like some food. At least I didn't—I'd like some fucking food. Bye."