And jokes

What is the difference between chocolate and sex?

I would rather eat the chocolate first and then make love.

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.

A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.

Yo mama so fat, I saw her eat with 3 utensils: A spoon, a knife, and a FORKLIFT.

Bf: Babe, do you love me?

Gf: Of course, why do you ask?

Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.

If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.

What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.

what is the difference between a basement full of dead prostitutes and a bowling ball in the basement?

I don't bowl.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite movie?

Black and white.

What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The face you make when you nail them.

I met another kid with Down syndrome the other day and attempted to talk to him. But my mom showed up and was asking me why I am talking to the mirror.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson likes little boys.

My friend's mom died, and he also died in a crash.