And jokes
What's the different between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? Both of them can't stand up.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Hi guys, the prankster is back!
I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...
When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!
Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!
What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?
Mixed nuts.
What do you call a physically handicapped heterosexual man that is in a wheelchair and German?
A physically handicapped promiscuous heterosexual man that is German.
Why do you call a man that is physically handicapped and German?
A physically handicapped bisexual man that is promiscuous and German.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
Welcome to Antonioβs pizza and abortion, where yesterdayβs loss is todayβs sauce!
Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl π€·π€·π€·π€·π€·π€·π€·π€· does it take to have π₯πππππ???? Well, it takes at least 1 π€· and 1 π° and they make a perfect β€οΈπ§‘πππππ€π€. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.
There are three types of people in the world:
Those who can count and those who canβt.
Whatβs the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesnβt cut itself :D
A young 38 year old happy Muslim migrant living in Sydney wants to wed a beautiful young bride. He asks the local Aussie the minimum age to wed his yet unchosen bride. "Eighteen," the Aussie says, sipping a beer. "She has to be Eighteen."
Okay, the Muslim man sighed, with disappointment and walks off. Next day he arrives with a 13 year old girl.
"Wtf are you doing?" Aussie says?
"You say this is okay," Muslim replied. "Fuck no, she must be at least Eighteen you sick bastard," says Aussie, flicking away his Winnie Blue cigarette. Muslim man leaves angrily.
Next day Happy Muslim settles on a 14 year old girl from Punchbowl to be his bride. Aussies jaw drops, "What is wrong with you mate?" asks Aussie.
Muslim man replies "You tell me to choose 'a teen', 'a teen', I chose a teen and now you come for my third and now fourth choice. Fuck you!"
Aussie: "Eighteen not 'a teen' you sick mongrel."
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: Whatβs that?
Me: Itβs a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and Iβm the one arrested."