And jokes
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"
What do Kurt Cobain and an emo kid have in common?
They both smell like "Teen Spirit."
Did you know that in 2001 there was an Among Us game, except that it was on a plane and had two imposters.
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What do Afghanistan people love about bombs?
They're black and go off.
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and all over their land.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
What are Michael Jackson’s favorite universities?
Brigham Young and Boise State.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: 'Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Conspiracy Theorists: Technoblade is still alive!
Me: Pigs live between 15 and 20 years!
Fans: 😭😭😭
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.