And jokes

What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?

The baseball player has a home to run back to.

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"

When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.

“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus? It only takes 1 nail to hang the picture.

Why didn't the boy like his Christmas presents? Hint: They were a soccer ball, bicycle, and running shoes.

To whoever @heil dem anfuhrer is, I hope you know I can’t understand what you’re saying. So next time you get on an American website, please speak English, and I don’t speak whatever European language that is.😊

You were sad because your grandmother died.

The next day, you were washing your face, and you realize sadness made your face BLUE.

My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?

A firecracker.

What's the difference between a toaster and a ten-year-old Chinese girl? A Japanese soldier would regret sticking his d*ck into a toaster.