And jokes
What do you get when you cross breed a bear with a retarded person?
A feminist (a hairy and brainless beast).
I’m gonna put my AR 15 up your fucking ass and pull the trigger!
What did Osama Bin Laden's kids not inherit after his death?
His hide-and-seek skills.
Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.
Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.
Imagine this scenario: A doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses, diseases, etc. in the world but cooler like this: "Bumbumbum you have depression, diarrhea, and cancer,... etc."
And then the last one on the list is that he is deaf, and then the doctor shows the patient the list.
Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her pussy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!
What's the difference between a baseball game and an orphan?
There's a home to go back to.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Why are apples and orphans the same?
They always get picked on.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
What do orphans and TVs have in common?
At least one of them has a home.
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
What's brown and white with red all over?
Terrorists when they went into the Twin Towers.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's the difference between a car and a car?
I have absolutely no idea, sorry.
I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.