And jokes
A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.
When a woman is something weeks or months pregnant and her stomach has a visible bump, everyone rubs her tummy, but no one tickles the husband's balls and says, "Good job, buddy!"
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
Ahmed is "bombuni guisisni" and Marcus is "bombardilo crocodilo" because Ahmed was late to the plane party and Marcus was first.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
The best and worst part about being bi:
Best: Double the love, double the fun.
Worst: Double the love, double the loneliness.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
What do Israel and Epstein have in common?
"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
Why was 10 scared? Because it was scared of 9/11. And why did I have to take a fall? I have nothing to do with the big II.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?
So, it was you....
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:
Starters - role play and stripping.
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.
Dessert - Blowy.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.