And jokes
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
What's the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.
What do you call a frozen communist?
Hammer and popsicle.
When the school shooter kills the teacher and the autistic kid declares communism
I have a friend called Jakob and asked him, "Where my crackers are?"
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.