And jokes
I had a great day today because Allison was frustrated at her calculator and started banging it on the side of the table, and the teacher screamed, "Allison, how would you like it if I banged you on the table?"
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
Dear disabled people, Just go into the settings and enable it.
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and Santa?
Santa stops at three hoes.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into the school fire and said, "Hot wheels!"
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song βHelen Keller.β
At what point does a joke become a dad joke?
When it disappears and never returns home.
Old members come back, weβre bullying the pussies and idiots off the site.
Ted Bundy walks into a bar wearing all black. The bartender asks, βWhose funeral is it?β
Ted Bundy looks around the room and replies, βI havenβt decided yet.β
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, βLetβs make this interesting.β So I took away his towers, and he took away my queen.
The pinnacle of loyalty is that an ant married an elephant, and after he died, she spent her entire life burying him :)
There was a very lazy person. He saw a banana peel in front of him while he was walking... and he said: βOh God, protect me from falling!β
The farmers were playing chess, and the winner shouted and said: "I killed your horse!"
The second quickly left, and when he returned he said: "We have poisoned all your cows!"
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
I like my women like I like my wine. 16 and locked in my in a basement.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and heβs wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"