Ancient times jokes

Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?

Because they don’t know what a mummy is.

Guy: Michael Jackson wasn’t in ancient times!

Me: hee hee egypt.

Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.

The Romans conquered Africa, they conquered Europe, they conquered Britain, then they stopped. They probably ran out of conkers.

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

World leaders are so old, they've got nostalgia for the Cambrian explosion.