Academia jokes

I fucking hate school, god damn!

The professor said, "I think this question raises a few problems."

The student replied, "That is not a question; that is an answer."

New degree plans announced by Cornell University:

- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.

- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.

- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).

I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?

It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.

On a scale of Johnny Depp having an erectile dysfunction to Michael Jackson exposing himself in a child day care center, how hard is it to get into Oxford?