Abreast jokes

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

There are two doors leading to Heaven: one for henpecked husbands and one for unhenpecked husbands. The line to the door leading to Heaven for henpecked husbands was five abreast and five miles long. The line leading to the door to Heaven for unhenpecked husbands consisted of only one lonely man.

The guys from the henpecked husband line looked at the one man in the unhenpecked husband line and shout, “Hey, Charlie, why are you standing over there for?” Charlie glances over his shoulder and observes a sea of humanity of henpecked husbands as far as the eye can see and says grudgingly, “I don’t know. My wife told me to stand here.”

Marriage is like a deck of cards.

In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

Roses are red, violets are black. Why is your chest as flat as your back?

You can tell a lot about a woman from her ankles. If they are on your shoulders, she probably likes you.

I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.