Abductor jokes

What kind of shoes does a kidnapper wear?

White vans.

What's a kidnapper's favorite shoe? White vans.

I have a fish that can breakdance only for 20 seconds, and he can only do it once.

I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.

My brother is ugly. One time he stuck his head out the window. The police arrested for mooning.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".