What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Tommaso
@tommaso
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach