What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
Tommaso
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
What type of pizza did the twin towers order?
Plain.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Why did Mozart hate all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach