I cried when my dad cut up onions, Onions was a good dog.
What can an Olympic runner do that hitler cant. Finish a race
I made a website for orphans sadly it doesn't have a home button
I want your weight not your phone number
*Me walk into the nail salon* Hi I'm here for my 3:45 appointment *nail tech* ok sweety come and sit down *Me sits down in the chair* *nail tech* you want long nail short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. ok. *gives me short nail* bro I asked for long nail. But you said bf but u look lesbian* walks out without paying* *nail tech gives money to a customer* there u win. *customer* I told u she would
“I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in awhile, but you’re really abusing that privilege.”
Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb
Roses are red, violets are not lime, if you turn around i will fist you anytime
what do u call an orphen family none existent
what did the orphan say to its parents? hey mom and dad oh wait ur not my parents i dont have nun will u adopt me pls they people:no
What does Michael Jackson like to eat? Little weiners
Magician..." I am the greatest magician in the whole world... look now you see the rabbit in the hat and now it is gone!...Redneck girl..."That`s nothing my dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple hours!"...
i asked an emo girl "do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies"
why are all asians so skinny? Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared
what do you call a girl with no legs> unshakeable
Are you the twin towers because I would smash you
Ur hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Appel all ways gets pick.
Whats the twin towers favorite minecraft biome? A plains biome
