Bro, gay jokes aren't even funny.
Like...
"Cum on guys."
Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. π Loser!
Your hairline is so big, it distracts me from your face.
Kms.
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
Why is it that skinny men like fat women?
Because they need warmth in winter, and shade in summer.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay.
He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network.
The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can't cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can't f*ck."
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving, just to go skydiving twice.
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
I hit on the Twin Towers. They were hot.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.
"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."
The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"