I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Worst Jokes Ever
Are you Roblox? 'Cuz I wanna play ya all day.
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.
I don't got a pencil or pen in this bookbag. Added like ten to the clip 'cause it look bad. Don't give a fuck if you pissed, nigga, get mad. Or you can bitch and get killed with your bitch ass. Lil' bro got blood on his shirt with his Crip ass. Go write a diss and get murked, don't do shit ass. Bitch, I'm a star, I might burst with my stiff ass. Hop out the car like, "Who want it? Who with that?" I don't know nothin', I was gone when they did that. Bandana wrapped where my chrome and my wig at. If he want beef, hit his home with a Big Mac. Niggas be breakin' the code like a Kit-Kat. Runnin' your mouth like a ho get you bitch-slapped.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They ain’t got no home to run to.
Why can’t England people play chess? They ain’t got no queen.
Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."
Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
What did the doctor say to the terminally ill Power Ranger?
It's Morphine Time.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
Octopus, more like octopussy.
Is your dad Spider-Man, because he got no way home?
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
If bedbugs live in beds, where do cockroaches live?
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
I was gonna say when you were born your mum saw you and screamed, but I remembered you were adopted...
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
What do pretzels and a corrupt government have in common?
They are both twisted.
What do Orphans say on Father's Day?
Well, not "Happy Father's Day."
