911 jokes usually go over my head
Then it hits me
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Nihha scarborough face
Jackhammer McQueerson
how does a train eat?
it goes chew chew
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure." That's a horrible thing to find out when your adopted.
why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7 is a registered 6 offender
when my grandpa was 65 he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
he's 70 now and we have no idea where he is
Say this when you answer a spam call... Hi welcome to bobs taco shack and funeral home. Wear yesterdays grief is todays beef.
hi hello hello ello
JFK was so popular he was banged in front of his Wife
A plane is about the crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out. A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a person man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, takes of shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
A man hits a woman with his car. Whos fault was it? The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?
Girl you must be a muslim because you are da bomb
yo mamma sucks
Mario:Princess Peach got kidnapped again! Luigi:Where did they go? Mario:To the left Luigi:Fuck
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mothers love Orphan: how come Me: you wouldn’t get it Orphan: . . . .
I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside. Thankfully I don’t have to call and tell their parents.
Alex: Dad can we get me a little brother from the orphanage? dad: Sure Alex! dad: We're here! orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now! Alex: Dad what is she talking about?!
what do orphans and apples have in common
only one gets picked
