You ever notice that the USA could be a part of Russia?
RUSSIA US A
Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?
You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-
(Destroys phone cutely)
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
Plz follow Freddyfatbear and Daddy cock.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
I never get off on the wrong foot.
I left my Avatar at home today.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
I have done a ton of work. A skele-ton.
What is the definition of auto masturbation?
Fellatio.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, then they got plane.
Fuck Roblox!
What is another name for 9/11?
A forbidden game of Jenga.
Yo mama so dumb, she asked how much a free sample was.
Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"
Why do orphans do so well in life?
When people told them "Go big or go home," they only had one option.
What did the cow say?
Moo!