Worst Jokes Ever
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.