Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.
The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.
The statistician shouts, "We got him!"
Gay gang members don't do drive-bys, they do fruit roll-ups.
Miscarriage jokes aren't funny, just cut it out.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
Your hairline is so long, people call it "The Natural Disaster!"
Why are people from New York so bad at chess?
Because they quickly lose two towers (rooks).
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
What do gay men and drug dealers have in common?
They both get a lot of crack.