Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
Sex sex sex free sex tonight, I mean 666-3629.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"