Worst Jokes Ever
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.
What did God say when he made the first woman?
"Where is your dick at?"
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
We send millions of mosquito nets to Africa; we can save millions of mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
Why can't orphans have cookies?
They are home made.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call a dog turd in China?
Waste of food.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
What’s the difference between women and cars?
At least cars retain some of their value after getting wrecked.
Why did Shakespeare only write using quills?
Pencils confused him: 2b or not 2b.
A genealogist looks at the family tree.
A gynecologist looks up the family bush.
Why did the dick go insane?
Someone kept messing with his head.
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common?
They’ll eventually get laid by a Mexican.
Just give me my money (clap clap clap).
What’s missing from an orphan's iPad?
The home button.
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.