Worst Jokes Ever
If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.
How do you stop an argument between two deaf people? Switch off the lights.
After an intense workout, I finally have the body I've always dreamed of.
It's in my basement.
I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.
I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.
I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.
I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.
They always start with two towers downed.
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
Who is not hungry in Africa?
A dead person.
My wife said I have no sense of direction.
I said, "Where did that come from?"
Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
What if Game of Thrones and Harry Potter antagonism had a child?
Coldemort!
What's more stupid than rapper and booty jokes?
NOTHING!
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖