Worst Jokes Ever

Yo Mama is so fat that Nationwide took nine years to get on her side.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

On September 11, Gemini ordered three pepperoni pizzas.

One came alone, one was late, and the third went the wrong way.

Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.

Your hairline is like the McDonald's logo. It's forming a perfect M.

Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.

What is harder than steel?

My cousin at the family reunion.

My uncle died from falling off a ladder and landing on his head (true story).

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put my uncle together again.

14 girls asked me to go out today!

I was in the ladies' toilets...

How do you make an idiot say how?

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."

Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?

Must be lots of drunks there.

Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."