Worst Jokes Ever
Friend 1: *turns off lights*
Friend 2: *is there with us*
Me: Woah! Where did friend 2 go?!
UU looks like boobies, hehe.
What did the Twin Towers say to each other?
Sorry if that offended anyone.
âI guess we are going down together!â
What do gingers miss most at a grate party?
The invitation.
Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he wonât be able to make it to Saw Con?
Call me a worn-out sweater because Iâm hanging on by a thread.
Thatâs about to become a rope around my neck.
Why are women so bad at parking?
Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches look like their whole lives.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.
He said the ATM outside.
Whatâs the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the partyâexcept you.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Whatâs the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?
There are twenty of them.
I'm adopted :[
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
We can only see 90 degrees.
I turned gay because my wife is too poor.
An African man visits his friend in the US.
âI just flew in yesterday,â the African man says. âAnd boy are my arms tired!â
âYou know, thatâs kind of an old joke here in America,â replied his friend.
âJoke?â the African man said. âIâve been holding my hands in the air yelling âdonât shootâ ever since I got to this damn country!â
When Helen Keller tries singing the national anthem at the Super Bowl,
Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa Aaaaaaaaaa.
What activity do nuns and whores have in common?
Answer: Genuflection.
A Canadian, an American, and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed, and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration. He spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with, and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water, and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything. I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get, and yet he won't speak!"
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!"