Worst Jokes Ever
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
One day a boy asks his grandfather for some money, and the grandpa says, “Well, can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy replied, “No.” So the grandpa says, “Okay,” and leaves it at that and walks off.
A few years later, the boy asks his grandfather for some money again, and his grandfather once again asks, “Can your dick touch your asshole?” To which the boy proudly says, “Yes, it can.” To which the grandpa says, “Good, now go fuck yourself.”
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
God's racist. He separated light from dark.
I've been looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer for the past two years.
But no one would do it.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never grow old.
What do you call a disabled Asian?
Sum Ting Wong.
Why aren't koalas actual bears?
Because they don't meet the koalafications.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.