Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
what's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop up an onion.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
My family is like a treasure.
You need a map and shovel to find them.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.
How do you get a hippie chick pregnant?
You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What is a pedophile's favorite dating site?
Kinder
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.