Worst Jokes Ever
What did the boy say to the noose?
"Can you please tie me."
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her head? She answered the iron.
How'd she burn the other side? They called back.
I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
What did the kid with leukemia watch last night? Finding Chemo.
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
Why didn't Hitler's girlfriend like giving him a blowjob? It left a Nazi taste in her mouth...
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
Whats the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead hookers, i don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin?