Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?

The microwave doesn't brown the meat.

All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.

Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.

Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.

In the morning, I become a cereal killer.

OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

What do you call a person with Down syndrome in a bathtub?

Vegetable soup.

I don't think anyone even checks these jokes.

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"

How does Hellen Keller drive?

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.

My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

What do you call pedophiles on a beach? Pedos in Speedos.

Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!

Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?