Worst Jokes Ever
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
Why was Hitler bad at math?
He could only count to nein.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
What’s a homo police dog?
A gay-9.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 13, because my basement is still dark.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a microwave?
The microwave doesn't brown the meat.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything.
Grammar: It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.