Worst Jokes Ever
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
I googled "How to start a wildfire." I got 48,500 matches.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?
Wrapped around that tree.
Where did Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
My midget landlord told me to pack my things up and that I've got 30 minutes to get out. That's short notice!
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.