Worst Jokes Ever
I’m so annoyed by those people who just believe in anything they hear. This is a conversation I had a few days ago.
Idiot: "The moon landing was faked! So unbelievably fake!" Me: "You believe in the moon? Stupidass."
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What did the pedophile say to the kids?
"FUCK!"
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
What turns red, blue then white? The last person that I'd strangle.
I don’t know what’s worse: Finding bucket loads of porn on my dad’s laptop, or finding out he was in all of them.
What do lesbians do when they have a problem? They finger it out.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
What do you call frozen Ibuprofen?
A chill pill.
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
Tyler
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.
The shovel was a groundbreaking invention.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
The other day, I donated my car keys, $1,000, and a passport to a homeless man.
You could feel the happiness come from me after he holstered his suppressed shotgun.
My wife asked me to help cure her from sucking her thumb. So I drew a cock on it.
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
Nothing... They both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.