Worst Jokes Ever
They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
Why was Helen Keller's belly button bruised?
Her boyfriend was blind too.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
This one kid I knew had Down syndrome, and he turned a mirror upside down trying to get rid of it.
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
Knock knock. Who's there? Bear. Bear who? Bear bum!
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Did you know that Germany came up with sparkling water?
Who else would think of adding gas?
The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."