Worst Jokes Ever

What is the most difficult day in the ghetto?

Father's Day.

One day Nathan came in ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Nathan, what do you have to say for yourself?" Nathan says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Dave came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Dave, what do you have to say for yourself?" Dave says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then Mike came in a further ten minutes late to Mr. Jones's class. Mr. Jones asked him, "Mike, what do you have to say for yourself?" Mike says, "Please sir, I was on top of Cherry Hill." Then five minutes later a new girl walked in to Mr. Jones's lesson. Mr. Jones is at the end of his tether now and says, "Who are you and why are you late?" The new girl says, "Sir, I'm called Cherry Hill."

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.

What kind of shorts do clouds wear?

Thunderwear.

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds, "Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Huh Ruh Buh Duh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.

What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?

Gotta Go Fast!

what's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop up an onion.

I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)

How did Stephen Hawking die?

There was a power outage.

My family is like a treasure.

You need a map and shovel to find them.

What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?

Her Miscarriage.

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:

Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"

My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?

Satisfying.

My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.

So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.

What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?

An expiration date.

Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.