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How do you stop a baby from drowning, Take your foot off it’s head.

What’s the difference between a yandere and a gun Nothing Flip them off the wrong way and your dead

What do you call a person with one arm one leg one eye and one ear ONESY “Hey dad how do you kill a star?” -give them drugs

Did you know hospitals have an entire wing for free dead babies? It’s called the abortion center

What do you call it when you’re trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

What? A telephone? Nah, I’m using a telebone.

Yo mom so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.

What do you call a guy with a bald head and loves to eat biscuits, raisins and caster sugar? - Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)

ur a bish and yu are too

“I need help goerge sink”said Jimmy “What is it”said Goerge Sink “Can you wash my dishes”said Jimmy

i can see your cameltoe you nasty thot

When you try to close an google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by “ad closed by google.”

What do you call vampire Matt Damon? Bat Damon!

What did the grape say when he got squished nothing he just let out a little wine

Joke : Me

Hurricane Irma, it blows.

what is the same with a duck and a bicycle, the handlebars - oh except for the duck

Have you seen the new movie “Constipated”?

No, it hasn’t come out yet