Worst Jokes Ever
I almost secretly married a watermelon, but I cantaloupe.
What did one traffic light say to the other?
"Stop looking, I am changing."
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Why can't pirates play cards? Because they're standing on the deck.
Lorne Armstrong
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
9/11.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!