Worst Jokes Ever
Every moon has a silver lining.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
Have you ever wondered how your teachers would look if they were 20 years younger than they actually are? I bet some of them would be smoking hot. Especially my 25-year-old English teacher. I'd bang her if she were 20 years younger.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.
Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
I like women how I like my hair dryer: locked in a closet most of the time and only being used to blow me dry.
What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
Who betrayed Cheesus Christ?
Goudas.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Why couldn’t the midget talk?
Because someone stepped on him.
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
Your mom gay.
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.