Worst Jokes Ever
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What lives on the forest floor?
Forest Gump.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
My PC.
What were Stephen Hawking's dying words?
"Restore factory settings."
How do kill a redneck?
Wait until he is fucking his sister and take the brakes off his house.
A pair of souls were floating up to heaven when they passed a pair of eagles.
"Ah, eagles," said the souls. The eagles were too polite to say anything.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
What’s black and rings the doorbell?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Come on guys, this is nasty, he was my uncle, ffs :(
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a car in my garage.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.