Worst Jokes Ever
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
Two blondes fell in a hole and one asked, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" and the other one says, "I don't know, I can't see."
9/11.
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it goo!
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?
It was quite a shocker.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What's black, gold, and red all over?
Tupac in Vegas.
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
When other people tell a joke, 3/3 people laugh.
When I tell a joke, 1/3 people laugh, but 2/3 people stare into my soul.
When you try to close a Google ad because it was covering content, but it was covered by "Ad closed by Google."
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Mooning is very astrological!
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.