Worst Jokes Ever
A single sentence walks into a bar.
I have a trombone.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
What do you call a gun that doesn't kill anyone?
- A VEGUN.
Some guy farts and says, "That was some asshole behind me."
I don't put ketchup and mustard on my hotdog, I relish it.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
Two gay guys are in a burning building, who gets out first? The one on the top or the bottom?
The bottom because his sh*t's already packed.
Why do hospitals have fans?
To keep the vegetables fresh and cold.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
I asked my midget neighbor if he wanted a lift. He told me to "Fuck off!!!" I thought, what a cheeky cunt and zipped my backpack up and walked away.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
There is one good part about paedophiles... they go slow in school zones.
What car do elves drive?
Toy-yodas.