Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “Dos, 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.”
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.
When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"
Chuck Norris is a ham weiner.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
My name is Jeff.
Feminism.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, it's not 8 because my basement is still dark.
