Worst Jokes Ever

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

Why do orphans play Minecraft? Because they have no home.

I was going to kill them with kindness, but then I realized using a knife is a lot faster.

Say "traffic," and replace "r" with "h." It sounds like... that thicc.

Q: What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? A: Apples get picked.

Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.

How many fingers am I holding? I'm not holding any fingers.

So, y'all remember Hitler, right?

Ok, so I own a gun with Nazi rounds. I shot a guy who was entering my home who wasn't invited. He said, "Did you shoot me with Nazi rounds?" Then I said, "Do you mean 'nein' millimeter?"

Stephen Hawking died.

Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer can't explore it!

Can I die?

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!

I have depression, and am suicidal. Nobody knows though, let's joke about that lol.

What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?

Dairy free.

pornhub.com

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know how to get to home.

What was Jesus's favorite food?

Answer: Snails

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.