Worst Jokes Ever
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
Cancer is still here. 😂😂😅😅😐😐😪😪😥😥😭😭
The Britains walk in the house of the alcoholic grandad. They ask Mary, the mum, why she had blood all over her, and she said someone dropped the butter. They walked into the living room, and Thomas was dead on the floor.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
Hi, I'm a name.
Last words of the mayor of Hiroshima: “What the fuck was that noise?”
Do fish have tits?
Fish tits.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What’s Kobe Bryant’s favorite rapper? NLE Choppa.
My grandpa and your hairline go way back.
Why aren’t Indian Pakistanis allowed in the World Cup of baseball?
Every time they hit a corner, they open a shop.
The world is a freaking rape joke.
What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?
A selfie.
Before my grandad died, he whispered to me, "Is your uncle still in the basement?" I said he has died. Oh, my grandad said, "I will lock him in heaven's basement."
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
Well on the positive side: the Mexicans will probably want to pay for, and build, that wall at this point! Maybe the Canadians as well; two free walls!
There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"