Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

Teacher: What does a cow say?

Susie: Moo.

Teacher: Good. Now what does a duck say?

Jimmy: The duck goes quack.

Teacher: Now what does a pig say?

Little Jonny: A pig says, "Get up against the wall, you black motherfucker!"

What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

The face you make when you nail them.

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus and the real Jesus?

The picture only takes one nail to hang.

Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.