Friend: My mum took my phone from me, and I really want it back.
Me: Yeah, well, Hades took my parents from me, and the funny thing is, I don't want them back.
Worst Jokes Ever
My dad died the other day, but I was able to hear his last words: "Son, are you still holding the ladder?"
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I'm glad I'm not a pornstar... that would be pretty sucky.
I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.
rtuiyg.
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
How do you get the depressed kid out of the tree? You cut the rope.
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Doin (DYM 20).
My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.
Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...
The difference between dark jokes and morbid is,
dark jokes are 10 babies in 1 trash can, and
morbid jokes are 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
I got no joke.
NWA: Straight Outta Compton.
Kobe Bryant: Straight Outta the Helicopter.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Why do orphans not know how to play baseball?
Because they cannot find home.
What's the worst thing to star in?
An amber alert.