Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?
They're both gay and use knives.
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?
A cutting board.
What do you call dead?
(Not Michael Jackson)
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...
She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?
"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Pass me the sugar, Sugar!
Pass me the honey, Honey!
Pass me the teabag!
So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"
What's black and white, black and white, black and white?
Michael Jackson.
You call it suicide. I call it a failed parkour attempt.
Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my sun."
Why did a woman believe she was a target? She had a price tag without any value to it.
What did the mother say to Michael J. on the beach?
"Excuse me sir, but you're in my son!"