Worst Jokes Ever

What is an orphan's favorite movie?

Home Alone.

What do you call a student in space?

An astrodent.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

They never reach home.

Just remembering the day when the Jets beat the New York Giants.

What is money called on the moon?

Mooney.

What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

Your mama so fat when she stepped on a scale it said, "Ma'am, take the bowling ball off of the scale!"

If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?

Me: No.

Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.

I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.

Call a group of emo kids Suicide Squad.

Sister: Why does shampoo have directions?

Me: 'Cause God made you.

Are you winter? Because you will be coming soon.

what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?

Niagra falls

I told this man to rev his vehicle.

Didn't know wheelchairs can't rev.

Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.