Worst Jokes Ever

Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."

Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.

Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!

You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!

The Flanders Song

God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."

Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.

Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."

"Leave me alone!"

Knock knock. Who's there? Parents. Parents who? That's what an orphan would say.

I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.

What's your religion?

I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.

A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."

Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?

What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?

Alzheimer's.

What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.

If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?

Why can't orphans walk through doors?

Because they don't have a house to walk into.

I have some black friends who hate it when I say the N-word around them, so I got a pet monkey.

What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!

How do you get a monkey off the wall?

You jerk him off!

What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...