Worst Jokes Ever

Jesus is the worst, just joking; he is the best! Best best BFF great guy ever that has a miracle. Jesus comes from Bethlehem! 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😇

My fish died, and I didn't do anything. I just took my fish for a walk.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Follow me if you need advice, or just follow me.

How many heterosexual men does it take to change a lightbulb in heaven?

Both of them.

Jack and Jill wanted some pills.

So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.

What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?

The boomerang comes back.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.

What does Joe Biden call a room full of kids? A toy room.

When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.

What in the world jumps the highest? Emo kids, some of them are still in the air.

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

If you are what you eat, then I’m black.

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.

What was the first thing Thanos snapped?

Loki’s neck.

Which train is loaded with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train.