Worst Jokes Ever

My wife is so fat.

She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.

My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

@M3GAN fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfucufkcucufkcuckfucufkcufcfufkcufkcuckfucufkf you

Me rn: "Yo yo yo, for pre-K I went to K.I.S.S. a school."

My friend: "What is K.I.S.M.A.?"

Me: "K.I.S.M.A. balls!"

A bomb is like a baby; when you drop it, everyone screams.

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.

She can't see the obvious.

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Bro, you look like you got your hair from the Roblox avatar shop.

I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.

Died and came back a cowboy, I call that reintarnation.

You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"

You are so ugly, when the Joker saw you, he stopped laughing.

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.