Worst Jokes Ever
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."
What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?
The life support cord.
I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.
According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?
"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."
Roses are tree.
I shoved a battery up my butt.
Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.
So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.
I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)
So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.
What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?
A good start.
I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.
What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.
What’s a necrophiliac’s safe word? I’m alive.
What do atoms and parents have in common to orphans? You can't see either of them.
The quiet kid, orphan, and school shooter walked into a bar, and he ordered a beer.
The only thing the orphan learned from his dad is the hide-and-seek skill to hide for 18 years. He tried it out; now he has infinite milk.
They didn't know where to put the orphan. He was returned from the hospital he was born from; the parents gained one cent, while the orphan gained potatoes as friends.
What do Donald Trump and a dick have in common?
Liberals can't keep either one out of their mouths.
What is the Twilight series about?
A girl's choice between necrophilia and bestiality.
Why should you shoot a homeless crackhead in the head?
Because they're basically zombies.