Worst Jokes Ever

I had an operation on my knee, but it was a joint effort.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.

He told me to stop going to those places.

A termite walks into the bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.

The penalty for a homeless person being caught stealing bread is an expensive, luxurious prison cell, which is located indoors and comes with free bread and water.

Aren't our governments wizards? Scrooge would be proud.

"Where did you learn to do bookkeeping?"

"Yale."

"And what was your name again?"

"Yackson."

What do George Floyd and Jordan Neely have in common?

Both can't breathe.

Kobe never died, he just faded away.

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.

If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?

Are you a Muslim, because you're the bomb?

What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?

"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"

What is the difference between Reform and Restore UK?

The Name.

A pair of Newfoundlanders, watching TV, saw endless big-budget advertisements for mass-produced American beer.

One Newfie turns to the other and says, "They say that stuff is the biggest seller in the States, but I don't see what the big deal is." So they buy a bottle, pour it into a plain jar and decide to get an expert opinion.

They send a sample to a lab in St. John's to have it analyzed.

A day later, the lab results come back: "Your horse has diabetes."

Yo mama is so ugly that Bumble accused her of catfishing.

Yo mama is so ugly that her DoorDash driver took her order away.

Yo mama so fat, even Dora can’t explore her.

Yo mama so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says, "DING!"

Your mama is so skinny she can dodge raindrops.

Yo mama so dumb she bought a toolkit to open up a Roth IRA.