Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"

The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."

Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.

When it comes to mosquitoes in Africa, should you feel bad that they're getting AIDS from their victims?

How did black people learn to steal sports cars?

By playing GTA nonstop.

What vehicle do Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics ride?

The prison bus. Wanna know why? Because they speed, hit-and-run, and avoid the police.

What do you call a bus full of stoners?

The Magic School Bus.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You are a Sp-Ed,

And clearly a Jew.

Roses are red,

Lilies are white,

One race ends up dead

And the other ends up bright.

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

wishing you were dead,

you filthy Jew.

I had a teacher named Mr. Stubs. I asked why he was given that name, and he replied, "My parents said my limbs were spare parts."

What's the worst part about eating vegetables from the hospital?

The life support cord.

I went to a handicapped comedy club, but all the jokes they told were special, and they didn't know a lot about stand-up at all.

According to the Police report, what did one traffic signal say to the other?

"Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light..."

Roses are tree.

I shoved a battery up my butt.

Loona from Helluva Boss is a retarded mutt.

So the other day I saw a homeless man. He tried to mug me. I let him.

I had nothing on me either. (I'm on the next block over.)

So apparently, Kurt Cobain's death was mind-blowing.

What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?

A good start.

I don't ignore dwarfs, I just overlook them.

What's a fat Mexican woman's favorite movie? Tortanic.