I bought an orphan kid an iPhone.
Guess what? It had no home button.
Worst Jokes Ever
My grandma used to beat the hell out of me for coming home late. Guess who's late now?
Ever heard of account stealing?
Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"?
Ever heard of rape jokes?
No?
Well, I'll MAKE you hear 'em!
You know what's so horrible about this website?
When I mimic another person's account, the picture ALWAYS changes color. No more identity theft for me.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Why can't gays drive faster than 68 mph?
Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Did you hear about the gay guy who got kicked off the golf course?
He was playing with too many strokes.
What's a homo's favorite planet?
Uranus.
What do dentists call their x-rays?
Tooth pics.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?
Finally my father came early from office today. I am very happy.
He was fired from his job.
Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.
In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.
The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
