Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
I got a part in a movie called "Cocaine." I only have one line.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I have some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.
Why was Santa happy?
'Cause he has hoes.
What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler?
Usain Bolt can finish a race.
Scientists make skyscrapers and airplanes.
Religion crashes them.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
What do you call a basketball player with erectile dysfunction?
Tragic Johnson.
This joke's about flowers, the blue one's a violet.
Your mom's the Twin Towers and I am the pilot!
Did you hear about the fire at Noelle's place?
Her sister is a real Dess-ember!
A photon is checking into a hotel.
The bellhop asks him, "Do you have any luggage?"
The photon replies, "Nope, I'm traveling light."
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."