Worst Jokes Ever
On a scale from 1 to America, how free are you this weekend?
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
What do you call 5 gays on fire?
LGBBQ.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Why can't orphans eat chips?
Because they come in family size.
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
My sis told me that onions are the only food that can make you cry...
So I threw a coconut at her.
Knock knock... Who's there? Surprise! Surprise who? Surprise, mother fucker!
It's all fun and games until they start dancing.
What did the green grape say to the purple one?
"Calm down and take a breath."
I had to write an essay about Africa, and I failed because I plagiarized the Hunger Games script.
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
How did the Indian suicide bomber blow himself up?
He pressed the red button.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
Correctly spelled.
Why were the Twin Towers so good at football? They were the best wide receiver of their time!
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
What went up but never came down?
Stephen Hawking's IQ.
pp hi
Your mummy is so tall, she uses the Eiffel Tower as a dildo.