Worst Jokes Ever
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Me walking in to the office:
Principal: Tell me what you did?
Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was an end portal...
Your hairline design was used as the Batman logo!
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
What do you call an emo girl with a flat chest?
A cutting board.
What does Michael Jackson and caviar have so much in common?
They both come on little white crackers.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
Your hairline is so far back it looks like it's been slapped up by Will Smith.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby? Because two "Wong's" don't make a white.