Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."
Chuck Norris uses elevators only in case of fire.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
Chuck Norris catches Pokémon with his bare hands.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, "I thought you guys only drink blood?"
The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, "I'm making tea."
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into skyscrapers.
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
What's the worst thing about 9/11?
All of the stupid "Airplane" jokes.
I think I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
This is WPBS-TV. We'll pledge-break soon — thanks, viewers!
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.