Worst Jokes Ever
How do you put a baby astronaut to sleep?
You rocket!
"When is the best time to commit suicide?"
Ate a Glock in the morning.
Politics.
The last two presidents of the US.
Hi, I'm new here.
A wife says to her husband, "You're always pushing me around and talking behind my back." "What do you expect?" he says, "You're in a fucking wheelchair!"
A young boy is stood on the top of a cliff crying. A priest approaches and says, "Why are you crying my son?" "My parents just crashed the car off the cliff and died." "It's just not your day today is it?" Said the priest, unbuttoning his flies.
lmao why do people think they can fly?
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What's the difference between your birth and 9/11?
One was planned.
What's a suicidal person's favorite type of bath bomb?
A toaster.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, βwhat gave me away?β βWell, your parents, for a start.β
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
I've been hit by several things in my life.
Sadly, never a car.
The median salary of a clown is $36,763. And yet, here you are, doing it for free.
Raju: How about you, Sunil?
Do you know?
Sanju: Sunil is my long distance
is a brother.
Raju: Long brother?
Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.