Worst Jokes Ever
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
What’s something you can say in a grocery store and in bed?
"Thanks for coming."
I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?
I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Why do dwarfs do drugs?
To get high.
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What did the rapper name his new DOG?
Lil Bark.
Why did the dwarf work at Tesco?
Because every little bit helps!
What game do emo kids love the most?
Hangman.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
Who led the Israelites through the semipermeable membrane?
Osmoses.
Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.
Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.
In our lab, theory and practice are combined: Nothing works and no one knows why.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
You give it ten tickles.