Worst Jokes Ever
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
Depression is like having anxiety, but with more voices.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
Why did the skeleton not go to the dance?
Because he’s dead.
You idiot.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
How many screws does it take to construct a lesbian's bed?
None, it's all tongue and groove...
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
PP almighty stabeth thy! Then my sister said, "Just put it in."
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
What's the difference between a PC and a 6 year old? I don't have to clean out my PC.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hoe? A hoe can wash her crack and sell it again.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
Fortnite is good.
(Awesome joke, right?)
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
Did you know my grandpa was part of World War 2? He killed Hitler.