
Worst Jokes Ever
What do penguins 🐧 eat for lunch?
Freeze burgers.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
10 Fun Facts.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 5. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 6. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 7. You skipped number 5. 8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
What does my head and hell have in common?
They both have demons in them.
Happy new year! 🥳
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
My cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the doctor once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing, and nothing is required of her.
She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Sh*t, my cat is a Democrat!
What is a bus ride that is dumb? A boring one.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Why does Hitler drink milk? Because he doesn't like juice.
Last night I burned down an orphanage.
There was one survivor who said I would regret it. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What do you call a kid with cancer walking through the airport?
•Terminal
Better call NASA and tell them there are only going to be 7 planets after I destroy URANUS.
I like my Oreos how I like my victims... Drowning.
Why is Mrs. Grapes 🍇 a good mother?
Because she loves raisin' kids.
You could say Japanese car fans and ancient Egyptians are alike—they both worship Datsun.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.