Worst Jokes Ever

What is Jesus's favorite exercise?

Cross Fit.

I just wanted to say...

These disabled jokes are quite offensive. I'm not disabled in any way, but people reading might be affected in many ways. Yes, some of them are amusing, but there's a difference between having a joke and being plain rude.

Please take my feedback into account. Thanks!

What's the difference between a penis and a gun?

A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.

Q: How do you get the retard kid out of the tree?

A: Wave at him.

There was a woman. She is property. Ha, sucks for that dishwasher.

My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.

My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...

What is Hitler's favorite game?

Nahtzee.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Why did Harry fall out of the boat?

Because he's hooked!

Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.

Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!

So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"

The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"

She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"

Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!

So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"

So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"

Chuck Norris and Time had a race.

Result: Time is still running...

gae

If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?

Me and my friend were roasting each other. She said, "You look like a Reese's cup." I replied, "You're so old, your pubic hairs are 50 shades of gray."

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

What's the best thing about a blowjob?

- The silence.

Why's it called a Caesar Salad?

'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.