Worst Jokes Ever

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.

Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?

Because they’ll get chapped lips.

I tried being an emo, but I never got the hang of it.

What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?

There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.

A team of cops and a news reporter are at a home where a violent crime has been committed. The head news reporter, in front of the camera, says, "A woman in this house has killed her husband because he stepped on the floor while she was mopping." He then turns around and asks a cop, "Has the woman been arrested yet?" The cop replies, "Not yet, we're waiting for the floor to dry."

What the difference between a priest and acne

Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face

The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.

What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?

When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.

Is it possible to stutter in sign language?

Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.

How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?

They only have a back door.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.

If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?

How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?

Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.

I'll call it Downtown.

What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?

I've never been inside a submarine.

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.