Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?

Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.

There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.

What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.

What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?

How much did the haulla-cost?

Why can't a t-rex clap?

Because it's dead.

Knott and Shott got into a gunfight. Knott was shot and Shott was not. Therefore, it was better to be Shott than Knott. But what if the shot Shott shot didn't hit Knott but Shott? Then the shot Shott shot shot Shott.

How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.

How many times does 43 go into 8?

Get in the van and find out.

Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.

What's a pirate's favorite shop?

Arrrrrrrrgos.

I hate snow. It's white and on my land.

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

I once heard my dad shout, "I'm going to be like Frozen and let it go!" Then I heard a gunshot.

Would you like to try African food?

They would too.

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A Brazilian.

What does NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts.

I would name my daughter Awesome so I can tell people that I'm fucking awesome.

I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.

Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?

In fact, they don't age at all.