Worst Jokes Ever
Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.
Friend: Why?
Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.
What's black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white...? A dead nun rolling down a hill.
Tails: Hey, Sonic, do you need payback? Oh, you are not a fat hedgehog, you are a snail.
Sonic: But I'm a fat snail because Dr. Eggman turned me into a snail.
Tails: I don't trust you, fat snail.
Are you suicide? Cause I'm tryna commit to you.
I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.
My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.
I saw a guy beat his girlfriend to a pulp after his girlfriend threw a phone in his face. I offered to call an ambulance, but he said he was fine.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Why can't Michael Jackson play baseball?
He made a hit and run!
Is it okay to call a special ed kid late to class a little tardy?
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.
Miss you dad.
"North America, best America."
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
Ratio.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What did the Mexican firefighter name his two sons?
Jose and Hose B.
I saw an orphan crying the other day, so I asked, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage :)
Me: Calls 9-1-1.
Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?
Me: *hangs up*
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.