Worst Jokes Ever
What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.
Once upon a time, Bob was in his hospital bed, receiving medical treatment not that far after finding out he had cancer. One day, his friend Jeremy decided to visit him. Jeremy told his best buddy this very inspiring sentence: "Sometimes in life, you and your heart will climb tall peaking mountains, and low flat valleys, and all after that we'll be happy forever in heaven, eventually." Little did Bob know that Jeremy was talking about his heart monitor.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
White people can't say the N-word, but at least they can say, "Thanks for the warning, officer," and "Hi, Dad."
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
what does BLM stand for?
Biden loves minors.
Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.
What do you call six gay men at war? Rainbow Six Siege.
I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.
What was Hitler's lucky number?
Nein.
Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.
What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?
They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.
Yo mama is so skinny, she can dodge raindrops.
I don't always like to tell dwarf jokes. But when I do, I like to keep them short.
When the school shooter asks the autistic kid which hostage he wants to rape, and he looks at you like 😋.
As siblings, we always joke about being adopted. It stops being funny when you're playing in your parents' room and find both of your adoption papers.
As an Autist, I find these jokes really funny. Thanks for the early 13th birthday present, ya'll :>
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!