Worst Jokes Ever

Why are orphans bad at poker?

They don't know what a full house is.

Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.

What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.

My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

Let's not make any more Indian jokes. All your jokes are trash. Please stop.

A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.

If Stephen Hawking is dying, where do I take him, Currys PC World, or a hospital?

Why do I only date orphans?

Because they never have daddy issues.

I have a penis.

How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.

500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.

What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.

My sister's boyfriend is mad at me because I fucked his girl.

Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.

My neck, my back, my crippling anxiety attacks.

Q: How do you know when an Asian broke into your house?

A: Your math homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and 2 hours later he's still trying to back out of the driveway.

Bully: "I bet your dick is so small when you look down in the shower you can't even see it."

Guy: "No, I see your sister's head."

Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.