Worst Jokes Ever

Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?

What brand of paint did Michael Jackson use to paint Neverland Ranch?

Dutch Boy.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.

Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...

Girl, scan the code on your wrist!

Lmao, idiots don't know how to play Jenga.

What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

They both have plastic in them.

Abortion is wrong because God wanted the baby to be alive.

Miscarriages are okay because God did not want the baby to be alive.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.

If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.

They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.

What did the two crewmates say when they were hanging on a rope? Polus up!

Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?

A baked potato.

What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?

RCXD in bound

What does Michael Jackson and tuna fish have in common?

They both come in small can.

Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.

Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.

Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.

The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.